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May 30, 2012
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"[Name]-chan~ get up and make us breakfast~" Izaya cooed in her ear, as she grimaced in her sleep and pulled the blanket over her face. Izaya chuckled, before yanking the blanket and sheets off the bed, causing the cold morning air to attack her form.

"Izaya~" She groaned rolling onto her back and glaring at him.

"Well Kanya and I are starving, so you need to get up and cook something, before we have to go to school." Izaya stated smirking.

"We?"

"I'm supposed to go for an hour or so, and talk to her class about my job, and give them a stay in school speech, like all the other parents with jobs."

"You talk to children? I'll go you; can go do whatever it is you do." [Name] said jumping out of bed.

"What don't think I can handle a few five year olds?" He smirked.

"No I don't think the world can handle a few five year olds, you give any advice too. They'd probably try to take over the world or something."

"Aw, how'd you know that was my plan?" He laughed, while wrapping his arms around her waist. "Fine, I won't mention anything that could give them any ideas."

"So you won't be talking at all." [Name] laughed.

"Ha, ha, you're hilarious."

"I know I am, now let go so I can fix Kanya something to eat."

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

"Daddy~ did you wake Mommy up?" Kanya asked walking back into the room.

"Yeah, we were just talking about today, it seems we have a few things to take care of."
Izaya stated.

"Hm… Huh!" Kanya thought to herself before smiling. "Did she say yes, are you going to go buy~"

Izaya rushed over and picked the young girl up in his arms, placing his hand over her mouth, when he realized what she was about to say. "Look at the time; we'll grab something to eat on the way."

Kanya managed to get his hand away from her face, and glared at him. "What was that for?! I was just going to ask if you, told Mommy to go buy some cookie dough, like you promised!"

"Huh?" [Name] said, confused by their display.

"I'll tell her later, now off we go!" Izaya said before rushing down the stairs, and out the apartment.

"Um… You know, if it was anyone other than those two, I would probably be worried." She sighed, before falling back onto the bed.



"Why don't you let me handle, telling [Name], what we did while she was away?" Izaya said, as he walked with Kanya.

"But why?"

"It's just more fun that way…" He stated.

Kanya gave him a questioning look, before shaking her head, "You know Daddy, sometimes I think you're crazy."

Izaya laughed at his daughter's statement, "You think so."

"I know so." Kanya stated, before skipping head of him. "Hurry or we'll be late."

When they arrived at the school, Kanya immediately grabbed his hand and ran excitedly into the classroom, where all her classmates had gathered with their parents.

"This is where I sit, Daddy, do you want to see my pictures? Oh I know I can show you our class pet! Or we~" She tried to catch her breath from talking so fast.

"Take it easy, Kanya-chan~"

"But you have to see everything!"

"I'm sure I won't be able to leave until I do, but why don't you put your things down first, then we can start with one thing at a time."

"Oh right, I should put my backpack up, and I think you have to sign in too, go do that okay." Kanya said as she started walking over to where the other children hung their
backpacks.

Izaya smirked at his daughters display and shook his head thoughtfully, before walking over to where another group of parents had gathered, and where signing in. He jotted his name down on the list, and walked back over to where Kanya was talking with some of her friends.

"My Mom couldn't come today so she made my big sister come, so don't fall asleep when it's her turn." One of the small girls said to Kanya and the others.

"I heard that brat." The girls, apparent older sibling, said as she ruffled the little girls hair, causing her to laugh.

"Daddy, these are my friends." Kanya said noticing her father, and smiling.

"That's your dad; does he really know all kinds of people?" One of the small children asked Kanya, who beamed happily.

"Mmhmm, my daddy is the greatest and he knows everything."

"Aw~ Kanya-chan I'm flattered." He smirked, patting her on the head.

"Dad~ You're embarrassing me, in front of my friends!" Kanya pouted, causing Izaya to chuckle.

"Just wait until you're a teenager." He stated in a mocking tone.

"He's right, Dad's are ten times worse when you get to be my age." The young woman from earlier stated laughing, she didn't appear to be any older than nineteen.

"Ten times worse than now!" Kanya exclaimed, "I'm doomed."

"Alright, don't be over dramatic like your mother; let's find a seat this thing's about to start."

"Okay, I want to sit over there, so we can see better." Kanya, exclaimed pointing in the direction of some chairs near the wall, circling a podium that her teacher must have set up for the parents.

As the father daughter, duo of trouble, sat down and waited for the first parent to stand and speak, Izaya was coming up with a way to make this usually boring show and tell, a lot more interesting.



After hearing several speeches, from a police officer, a nurse, a limo driver, and even a party clown/engineer, the usual speeches about stay in school, one day you'll be president, etc caused Izaya to yawn, to himself.

"Daddy, you're turn!" Kanya smiled, looking back at him, she had been particularly interested in the woman who talked about being a nurse, and most likely had ideas of going into that profession.

"Alright, let's see what I can do." He said as he stood and walked to the front, Kanya trailing beside him smiling widely.

"Okay everyone, this is my Dad, he's got a really cool job, and he gets to spend a lot of time with me and my mom, because he's his own boss." She exclaimed, some of the parents who didn't immediately recognize him as being the infamous informant broker, gave each other joking looks thinking he wasn't all that great. While the ones who easily recognized him, where keeping a protective eye on their kids, hoping they would see him, and never want to turn out like him.

"What's your father's job?" her teacher asked, smiling at the small girl.

"He's an informant, which is like…" she thought about what she wanted to say, "Sort of like a detective, right?" She glanced up at Izaya who was giving her an amused smirk.

"That's close, Kanya-chan~" He cooed, "You see kids, I gather information on anyone and everyone, for a fee. So I'm not entirely like a detective, since they use clues and guess work to find out who committed a crime."

"If you can do that, then why don't you become a policeman?" A young boy, sitting in front of the police officer, asked.

"Working a nine to five job, with people who look the other way when money is on the table, or the ones who take out loans from loan sharks, and still owe large debts to illegal groups." He smirked in the direction of the officer, who averted his gaze, guiltily. "Besides with all those hours, I wouldn't get to spend nearly enough time with my two favorite humans, or make the lives of all the rest of my dear humans that much more interesting."



After the remainder of parents presented their jobs, they began hugging their children and saying goodbyes.

"Well Kanya-chan~ I should get going, [Name]-chan probably is worried sick about me."

"Okay love you daddy!" Kanya smiled, hugging him. She let go and ran over to her friends, to play.

As soon as the raven haired little girl dashed away, her friend's older sister approached Izaya. "That was pretty cool, how you told everyone about that cop." She smirked. "Oh by the way, I'm Misaki."

"I'm aware of that, you did introduce yourself in front of everyone, what ten minutes ago."

"Oh right, so anyways your daughter really likes you, you too look so much alike it's adorable."

"Well I am, her father, so seeing as how we share DNA it only makes since that, she would look like me." Izaya said boredly.

"So this wife, of yours where is she?" She said leaning close to the informant, who just lifted a brow, and rolled his eyes.

"Look, you're in a class that's beneath me, so your little casual flirting is pathetic. Why would I waste any more of my time, with someone like you?" He smirked.

"What ever, you're just some lame guy, whose wife is probably off sc-"

Izaya began to laugh, cutting her off midsentence, "Human beings are such weak things, when you don't get your way, you bag of someone else, even if you haven't even met them.
Trying to make yourself seem important, when really none cares what you think."

"You're a creep!" She spat storming away, not catching the glaring five year old who was watching her every move from beside a toy oven, with a look that could kill.



After going back and picking Kanya, up Izaya opened the door to their home.

"I missed you so much!" [Name] called, as she ran to meet them at the door.

"Aw~ I missed you too, [Name]-chan~"

"Oh hey Izaya." She said, glancing down, at the young girl who would have usually rushed to hug her. "What's wrong?" She asked, seeing Kanya glaring, her small arms crossed defiantly across her chest.

"She's been doing that ever since I picked her up, she was fine when I left, but when I got back she just sat there." Izaya stated, glancing down at his daughter.

"What did you do?!" [Name] glared accusingly.

"I didn't do anything, stop blaming me for every little thing." He stated, as he walked over to his desk, and sat down.

"Sweetie what's wrong? Tell mommy."

Kanya looked at her mother, her expression softening, before shooting an angry glare at her father. "My friend Ana, her big sister came today and she was talking to Daddy."

"Oh… really, and what where they talking about that has you so upset." [Name] asked, as she looked over at Izaya who was watching both of them.

"You've got to be kidding me?" He sighed.

"I don't know, but she was this close to him!" She exclaimed, as she placed her small hands on her mother's cheeks.

"She wasn't even that, close."

"So there was a she? Kanya, why don't you go grab a cookie and take it in your room."

"Okay." Kanya said walking into the kitchen, then up the stairs, a cookie in hand.

"You have a minute." [Name] stated.

"Or what?"

"Or you go stay with your parents, now you have fifty seconds."

"Look, I don't know why the two of you are so worked up, I swear you two share hormones sometimes, I'll have to check into a mental institution when she turns sixteen."

"43."

"Some desperate girl came on to me, and I told her the truth."

"And that is?"

"That humans are such weak pathetic beings," He cooed, walking over to where she stood.  "And why would I waste time even talking to her, when I already have my favorite human at my side all the time."

"You're still sleeping on the couch tonight." She stated, turning to walk away, only to feel a pair of arms wrap around her waist and begin to drag her over to the couch. "Izaya, let go, I have to start dinner."

"It can wait, I haven't got to spend time with you yet, and let's be honest you've been being moody." He said, as he dragged her down onto the couch, and pinned her down.

"Well look who I have to deal with every day."

"[Name]-chan~" He cooed, before pressing his lips to hers. She couldn't help but to kiss him back, and let her arms wrap around his neck. "While we're at it that reminds me."

"What?"

"I promised Kanya, the two of us would go buy some cookie dough."

"She has cookies in the kitchen."

"But we need to buy a special kind of cookie dough." He cooed.

"Okay, I can usually tell what goes on in that twisted head of yours, but I'm lost."

He chuckled, and rested his forehead against hers, "My dear sweet, [Name]-chan~ you can be so dense sometimes. If you really need me to explain, while you were gone Kanya and I, watched some of those home movies from when she was a baby. She asked where babies came from, I told her."

"You what?!" [Name] said a horrified expression.

"I didn't tell her the truth, I made something up, which involved us going to a store and buy a special cookie dough that turns into a baby."

[Name] looked at him, before erupting into laughter. "Was that the best you could come up with?!"

"I don't see what's so funny." Izaya stated annoyed by her laughter.

"The great Izaya Orihara, capable of bending anyone's will power, and corrupting their mind, couldn't come up with anything besides magic cookie dough, when a five year old asks him where baby's come from!" She laughed, "That's priceless! I've got to call Shinra and Celty! ha-ha, wait what if Shizu-nii found out, that be better than him trying to kill you any day!" She laughed, as she tried to get up, to share the hilarious news with someone.

"Oh no you don't." Izaya stated grabbing the laughing woman, and pinning her down to the couch, "You're going to keep quiet, about this understand."

"I finally have something humiliating to use against you!" She laughed, "I'm never letting you live this down."

"Oh really?" He smirked, "Not with everything I have on you."

"At least I can come up with better lies than, cookie dough babies." She smirked.

"Well since the idea got you so excited, why don't we test it." He cooed as he kissed her his arms wrapping around her waist, and pulling her closer.

She pulled away, "Not gonna happen, it's the middle of the day and Kanya's home."

"She loves going over my parents."  Izaya smirked.

"Izaya~ I have to cook dinner, get off."

"It can wait."

"What are you doing?" Kanya, asked curiously from by the tv.

"Oh I was just talking to mommy, about buying cookie dough."

"Izaya!"

"Really!" Kanya said happily. "Did she say yes?!"

"That's right." Izaya stated.

"But why are you two play fighting?"

"That's because~" Izaya was cut off, by [Name] covering his mouth with her hand.

"We were just playing, nothing else!" She said frantically.

"So you aren't mad at him anymore?"

"No." [Name] smiled.

"Okay… I'm on mommy's team, let's beat up daddy!" She declared, running towards the couch, and jumping on Izaya's back, causing him to lose his balance, and fall over.

"Why are you on her team?"

"Cause, mommy's the greatest! And you're a boy so it wouldn't be fair, if I helped you, because me and mommy are girls, teamwork!"

"Is that so." Izaya said as he held the five year old, close to him.

"Mommy help, he's got me!"

[Name] laughed, "You two are so…" She shook her head.

"So daddy when are you two going to the store?"

"I was thinking~"

"Izaya!" [Name] glared threateningly, at him. "You must really like this couch."

"Oo~ you're in trouble."  Kanya giggled.

"Like I said you two, share hormones."

"What's hormones mommy?"

[Name] looked at Izaya for help; he shrugged "Let's see if you can do any better."

"Uh… Who wants pancakes for dinner, I'll go make some." She said jumping up from the couch, and rushing into the kitchen.

"She didn't answer my question, Daddy what are hormones?"

"You see~"

[Name] raced from the kitchen, and grabbed Izaya's arm, "You're helping me cook!"
Whew next chapter is complete!
Just in time for me to make this 2 hour trip. More to come soon

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:icontigerlover6:
TigerLover6 Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
"I didn't laugh or even smile while reading this.", said no one EVER! This is hilarious!
Reply
:iconlollypop919119:
lollypop919119 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Izaya: Let's go get some cookie dough!!
XD OMG LOL *dying*
Reply
:iconotakujeanette:
otakujeanette Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
MAGIC COOKIE DOUGH~ PRICELESS. XD
Reply
:iconswifti56:
Swifti56 Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012
Oh god, this is the cutest thing I have ever read.
Reply
:iconcamishakelley:
CamishaKelley Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2012  Student General Artist
glad u like it
Reply
:iconmetagiga:
MetaGiga Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012
Oh god, we HAVE to tell them when we get the chance xDD
Reply
:iconwindkunoichiprincess:
XD I cracked up when he explained where babies came from XD Priceless...
Reply
:iconteamshikaino:
TeamShikaIno Featured By Owner May 31, 2012  Hobbyist
Oh wow... Izaya really knows how to dig himself in and out of hole easily... XD Kanya is so curious XD Loved it :D
Reply
:iconcamishakelley:
CamishaKelley Featured By Owner May 31, 2012  Student General Artist
Glad you enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconmikichara12:
mikichara12 Featured By Owner May 31, 2012  Student Writer
Oh Kanya..... you and your curious mind XD
What are you going to ask next that will make reader-chan react too much and make Izaya answer with a weird lie?
Izaya..... you better watch that mouth of yours.... Kanya might pick up things that is not supposed to be heard by five year olds XD
Reply
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